Deep Inner Work Coaching: The 7 Masterful Principles for Transformative Coaching Conversations
Deep Inner Work Coaching focuses on exploring and understanding the deep-seated beliefs, values, emotions, and experiences that shape an individual's perception of themselves and the world around them. This coaching approach delves into the client's psyche and helps them identify and overcome limiting beliefs, self-doubt, fear, and other emotional barriers that may be holding them back from achieving their full potential. Deep inner work coaching involves creating a safe and supportive space for the client to explore their innermost thoughts and feelings, and encourages them to take an active role in their own transformation. By working through their inner challenges, clients can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and cultivate a more meaningful and purposeful life.
"Take your clients deeper and watch them soar higher. Deep inner work unlocks the potential for transformation and empowers individuals to create the life they truly desire."
Jedidiah Alex Koh, BYS, MCC
Coaching conversations can often seem mundane, lacking creativity and depth. Clients may anticipate the coach's questions, resulting in formulaic and predictable discussions. However, as experienced coaches know, limiting oneself to a specific model or framework can hinder the potential for breakthroughs and meaningful progress. The hallmark of a masterful coach is the ability to use creative flexibility to co-create a transformative process, leading to powerful insights and actionable steps towards success.
In this vein, it is crucial to emphasize that actions and results are not the ultimate goals of successful coaching conversations. Rather, it is about cultivating an understanding of how the client learns, what motivates them, and what drives their decision-making. This shift towards self-awareness and ownership fosters a paradigm shift, enabling clients to independently create momentum towards their goals.
However, the transformational impact of coaching is not merely behavioral, but rather deeply rooted in an internal transformation. While behavioral change may provide short-term relief, true growth and sustainable progress only stem from a profound shift in perspective and mindset. Masterful coaching is not about following a prescribed set of steps or models, but rather utilizing presence and active listening to facilitate meaningful insights and learning.
Drawing from years of experience working with coaches across cultures, I have identified seven key principles that distinguish masterful coaching. By embracing these principles, coaches can create a transformative and impactful coaching experience for their clients.
“The problem isn’t the problem. Dive deeper underneath the presenting problem to unravel the root of the challenge.”
Principle 1: Coaching the Who, Not the What: Focusing on the Person and Not the Problem
Focusing on the person instead of the problem is the foundation of successful coaching. A coach must begin by understanding the client's values, beliefs, and desires. By doing so, the coach can gain insight into the underlying issues that may be contributing to the problem at hand. By working on the individual, rather than solely on the issue, the coach can help the client find congruence and clarity. This will enable the client to dissolve the problem and find new ways of seeing their challenges.
Often, a client's problem is merely a symptom of a larger issue. For example, a client who is struggling with work-life balance may actually be experiencing feelings of anxiety or overwhelm. By focusing on the individual, a coach can identify and address these underlying issues, rather than merely treating the surface-level symptoms.
When coaches focus on the person, they create a safe and supportive space for clients to explore their challenges. This approach allows clients to feel seen, heard, and understood, which is essential for personal growth and transformation. By coaching the person, the coach can help the client develop greater self-awareness and understanding, which in turn enables them to make more informed decisions and take more purposeful actions.
Coaching the person instead of the problem enables clients to shift from a problem-focused mindset to a growth mindset. Rather than seeing challenges as obstacles to overcome, clients learn to see them as opportunities for growth and transformation. By focusing on the person and not the problem, coaches can help clients unlock their full potential and achieve lasting success.
Principle 2: Enabling Clients to Recognize and Embrace Their Greatness Within
Expanding on the principle of helping clients to recognize the greatness within, it’s important to understand that each client is unique and possesses their own set of strengths and talents. As coaches, our role is to guide them towards discovering and fully utilizing those strengths to achieve their goals and aspirations.
When we shift our focus to recognizing the greatness within our clients, we create a space for them to see themselves in a positive light. We encourage them to embrace their unique qualities, rather than constantly striving to fix their perceived flaws or shortcomings. By doing so, we empower them to build their self-esteem, cultivate their confidence, and ultimately reach their full potential.
It’s also important to note that recognizing greatness within our clients is not about ignoring their weaknesses or areas of improvement. Rather, it’s about reframing their mindset to focus on their strengths and how they can leverage those strengths to overcome their challenges. We help them develop a growth mindset that allows them to view their mistakes and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth.
When we help our clients recognize the greatness within themselves, we not only empower them to achieve their personal and professional goals, but we also create a ripple effect that extends beyond just their individual lives. By fostering a sense of self-worth and confidence, our clients are more likely to positively impact the people and communities around them. This is the true power of coaching - it’s not just about helping one person, but about creating a positive ripple effect that can transform the world.
“Infusing freshness into the coaching conversations keeps them engaging and unpredictable. ”
Principle 3: The Neoteric Principle.
I develop this principle called The Neoteric Principle, it emphasises the importance of adopting a fresh, creative and innovative approach to coaching. This principle reminds coaches to think outside the box and avoid becoming stagnant in their coaching methods. It encourages coaches to embrace new perspectives, techniques, and tools to provide their clients with an unparalleled coaching experience.
The coaching process can become predictable and mundane, leading to disinterest and disengagement from clients. Therefore, coaches must continually explore new ways to engage their clients and create dynamic coaching conversations. By incorporating creative exercises, innovative coaching models, and unexpected questions, coaches can ignite their clients' curiosity and bring fresh insights to their sessions.
Incorporating the Neoteric Principle can also bring a sense of excitement and enjoyment to the coaching process. Both coaches and clients can benefit from the energy and enthusiasm generated by novel approaches to coaching. By consistently introducing new ideas and methods, coaches can keep clients engaged and invested in the coaching journey.
The Neoteric Principle reminds coaches to stay creative and innovative in their coaching approach. It encourages coaches to embrace new perspectives and techniques to keep their coaching conversations fresh, dynamic, and engaging. By applying this principle, coaches can create a coaching experience that inspires clients and drives personal transformation.
The Neoteric Principle also brings about a certain degree of unpredictability which allows the conversation to flourish in an engaging manner.
Unpredictability can be a good thing because it keeps things interesting and engaging. When conversations become predictable, they can quickly become dull and lose the client's interest. Unpredictability can help keep clients on their toes and actively engaged in the coaching process. It can also help to break down preconceived notions or barriers that clients may have, allowing for new insights and perspectives to emerge. By embracing unpredictability, coaches can create an environment of excitement and possibility, where clients are open and receptive to new ideas and perspectives.
Principle 4: Negotiate the state of ambivalence.
Negotiating the state of ambivalence is a crucial principle in coaching because it helps clients to confront and resolve inner conflicts that might be hindering their progress. It is not uncommon for clients to feel stuck or uncertain about a situation they are facing. As coaches, it is our responsibility to pay close attention to the subtleties of their behavior, thoughts, and feelings to identify when they are experiencing ambivalence.
By negotiating this state, we help clients to explore and articulate their conflicting thoughts and feelings, leading to a greater understanding of themselves and their situation. This understanding provides a strong foundation for moving forward in a more positive and meaningful way. Coaches can achieve this by asking open-ended questions, actively listening to the client's responses, and acknowledging their conflicting emotions and thoughts.
Negotiating the state of ambivalence also allows clients to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills. By exploring their inner conflicts and finding resolutions, clients can learn how to overcome obstacles and develop resilience, which they can apply to future challenges. As coaches, we help them to gain insights into their own behavior and thought patterns, leading to greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Leveraging on the ambivalence state helps clients to confront and resolve inner conflicts, gain greater self-awareness, and develop critical thinking skills that enable them to move forward in a more positive and meaningful way. By paying close attention to the subtleties of their behavior, thoughts, and feelings, coaches can help clients to negotiate this state and achieve lasting transformation.
“The person with the greatest flexibility wins.”
Principle 5: Flexibility as a choice state.
I often say that the person with the greatest flexibility wins. What does it mean to win? What I refer to is the ability to lead the conversation well. Rather than being led in all directions and feeling a sense of hopelessness in the conversation, if we employ flexibility we are able to be more agile and adaptable to the various conversational styles presented by the learner.
The ability to be flexible is a key trait of successful coaches. As a coach, being flexible means being open-minded and adaptable to the ever-changing needs of the client. It requires the coach to remain present in the moment and be responsive to the client's cues, whether they are verbal or nonverbal. When a coach is flexible, they can create a safe and supportive environment where the client can explore their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
Being flexible also means being comfortable with uncertainty. Sometimes clients may not know what they want or need, and it is the coach's role to help them explore their options and find clarity. A coach who is rigid in their approach may miss opportunities to help the client because they are too focused on their own agenda. Flexibility allows for a co-creative process, where the coach and client work together to find solutions that work for the client's unique situation.
Prioritizing flexibility also means being willing to let go of preconceived notions and assumptions. When coaches hold onto their biases, they limit their ability to see the client's situation objectively. Flexibility requires humility, a willingness to learn and grow alongside the client. This is especially important in coaching, where the goal is not to provide answers but to facilitate the client's learning and self-discovery.
Flexibility in coaching is essential for creating a dynamic and responsive coaching environment. It requires the coach to be adaptable, present, and open-minded. When coaches prioritize flexibility, they can create a safe and supportive space where clients can explore their thoughts and feelings freely, leading to deeper insights and transformation. Remembering that flexibility is a choice state.
Flexibility is not just a skill, but also a choice state. As coaches, we should prioritize this choice state in order to help our clients see the possibilities that are available to them. When we approach a conversation with a rigid mindset, it can lead to missed opportunities and a lack of growth. On the other hand, when we adopt a flexible mindset, we become open to new ideas and perspectives, which can lead to breakthrough moments for our clients.
One way to cultivate this choice state of flexibility is through intentional practice. We can intentionally seek out new experiences, challenge our assumptions, and be open to different ways of thinking. When we make a conscious effort to be flexible, we are more likely to respond to changing circumstances with grace and ease.
In the coaching process, we should also encourage our clients to embrace this choice state of flexibility. By doing so, we can help them to break out of their comfort zones and explore new possibilities. This can lead to personal growth and development, as well as the discovery of new opportunities.
It is important to note that being flexible does not mean compromising our values or principles. Rather, it means being adaptable and open-minded while staying true to our core beliefs. As coaches, we can model this by being flexible in our approach while maintaining our ethical standards and boundaries.
Ultimately, embracing flexibility as a choice state allows us to navigate the complexities of life and the coaching process with greater ease and effectiveness. It allows us to stay present, engaged, and responsive to the needs of our clients, leading to more meaningful and impactful coaching relationships.
“It’s not about the questions asked. It’s about the questioning. ”
Principle 6: Employ precise generative questioning.
There is a difference between questioning and questions. Too often coaches just want to pursue the best questions to ask rather than thinking about the questioning process which requires keen listening and generative questioning with precision.
Precise questioning is an essential technique for coaches to help clients navigate their thoughts and emotions effectively. It's not enough to have a list of questions to ask; coaches need to master the art of questioning to be effective. The questioning process is not just about asking questions; it's also about the timing and the context in which they are asked.
As coaches, we need to be present and fully engaged with the client during the conversation. Our tone, pace, and voice are essential in creating a comfortable and safe environment that fosters trust and open communication. The precision of questioning is the finesse by which coaches reflect the questions to the client, utilizing the client's language and expanding their awareness. It's essential to use language that the client understands, which will allow them to connect more deeply with their thoughts and emotions.
One of the benefits of using precise questioning is that it allows clients to explore their thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental way. By asking open-ended questions, coaches can encourage clients to go deeper and consider different perspectives on their situation. It can help clients to reflect on their assumptions and beliefs and challenge them, leading to new insights and awareness.
Moreover, the use of precise questioning can help clients to clarify their goals and objectives. By asking questions that are specific and focused, coaches can help clients to identify what they want to achieve and how they plan to do so. This clarity can lead to a sense of purpose and direction, which can help clients to move forward with confidence.
To employ generative questioning it requires the coach to be present, engaged, and fully focused on the client. The right tone, pace, and voice can give a question catalytic impact, leading to new insights and awareness for the client. Precise questioning can help clients to explore their thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental way, leading to greater clarity and purpose.
Coaches can use generative questioning to help clients explore their situation from different angles and perspectives, expand their awareness, and unlock new insights and ideas. Here are some examples of how coaches can use generative questioning:
Exploring possibilities: Ask open-ended questions that encourage clients to explore a range of possibilities and options. For example, "What are some other ways you could approach this situation?" or "What other resources could you tap into to help you achieve your goals?"
Challenging assumptions: Ask questions that challenge clients' assumptions and beliefs, encouraging them to think critically about their situation. For example, "What evidence do you have to support that belief?" or "What would happen if you viewed this situation from a different perspective?"
Generating alternatives: Encourage clients to generate alternative solutions by asking questions that help them think creatively. For example, "What if you tried approaching this situation from a completely different angle?" or "What would happen if you tried something completely new and different?"
Building awareness: Use questions to help clients build self-awareness and gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their situation. For example, "What emotions are you experiencing right now?" or "What values are most important to you in this situation?"
“Your X factor is what makes you, you. The X represents the unforgettable eXperience you will leave the client with. ”
Principle 7: Embrace your X factor.
Embracing your X factor means recognizing and leveraging your unique strengths, qualities, and personality traits in your coaching practice. A masterful coach understands that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to coaching and that they must find their own way to connect with their clients authentically. This involves being true to yourself, embracing your own style and personality, and bringing it into the coaching conversation.
When a coach embraces their X factor, they create a deep sense of connection with their clients. By being real and vulnerable, coaches can create a safe space for clients to be themselves, to open up, and to share their deepest fears and desires. This kind of connection can lead to transformational breakthroughs for clients, as they feel seen, heard, and understood in a way that they may not have experienced before.
Embracing your X factor also means recognizing and working on your weaknesses and limitations. No one is perfect, and every coach has areas where they can improve. By acknowledging these areas, coaches can develop strategies to address them and become even more effective in their practice.
Be confident in who you are as a coach and recognizing that your unique qualities are what make you stand out from the rest. By being true to yourself, you can build deep connections with your clients and help them achieve their goals in a way that is authentic and empowering.
“Deep inner work coaching is not about fixing the client but creating a safe space for them to explore and unlock their potential, where transformation happens from the inside out.”
Masterful coaching is a journey that requires a deep understanding of the client and the art of co-creation. It is not about imposing one's ideas or pushing the client towards a particular outcome. Instead, it involves creating a space for the client to explore their thoughts and feelings, enabling them to discover their own solutions and insights.
As the coach and client work together, the coach needs to remain present and in the moment, holding space for the client to reflect and explore. This requires the coach to embrace their own unique style and personality, allowing them to create a deep connection with the client. By doing so, the coach can help the client to feel safe and supported, encouraging them to explore and expand their awareness.
The ultimate goal of masterful coaching is to produce self-initiated momentum that creates peak performing states and sustainable results. This means that the client not only experiences a transformational moment but is also able to sustain the change and achieve lasting results.
It is important to note that mastery is not an endpoint but a journey of continuous learning, growth, and maturity. As coaches practice these seven principles, they must remain disciplined and committed to their own development and mastery. This involves creating a roadmap that outlines specific goals and strategies for achieving them.
By focusing on these principles, coaches can develop the skills and knowledge necessary to create transformative experiences for their clients. The journey towards mastery requires dedication, commitment, and a willingness to learn and grow continuously.
